My vision is to tailor the ceremony to you as a couple. Most of my life I have been a drummer. I love jazz, things like improvisation, rhythm, and creativity are important to me. So often people want to see a copy of the ceremony. You can see the outline below, but to me it is more about my ability to improvise, to sense when the emotions are beginning to be expressed, and know how to creatively interact with you so that your wedding is profoundly meaningful to you. I can’t put that on a piece of paper. It is in my heart.
For example, as I am writing this, I’m thinking of the ceremonies that I have performed this weekend. Friday night was a large outdoor wedding where the bride wanted a Hawaiian theme. The ceremony I performed contained some of the elements that you see below, but what you see on this page is very different from the ceremony that I performed. On Saturday morning I did a cowboy wedding where the bride and groom came into the rodeo arena on horseback. The ceremony that is written below would not have matched a yee haw cowboy wedding. I don’t read off of a piece of paper. I don’t want to do a canned ceremony. Because of years of teaching on marriage and counseling married couples, I am able to present something fresh that will be a positive experience for you and your guests.
The Ceremony
Welcome
Ho’o nani I ka Makua mau, Ke Keiki me ka U ha ne no, Ke akua mau. Ho’o mai Ka’i pu, Ko keia ao, ko ke la ao.
Life is a celebration. Love is a celebration of life. Marriage is a celebration of love. We are here to celebrate the love that “bride” and “groom” have for one another.
Lei Ceremony
Hawaii is a place of great beauty: mountains, serene oceans, volcanoes gently pushing the island outward, rainforests, beaches where the breath of heaven caresses the shore. Not only is Hawaii beautiful for its scenery, it has given birth to a beautiful culture. On special occasions such as this, the people on these islands celebrate with the giving of the lei. Let these leis symbolize the beautiful way in which God has brought you together.
Marriage Message
We arrive at this moments on our journey, moments that are sacred to the spirit, moments where yearning and fulfillment meet, moments where we stand on holy ground – where we gain a new awareness of what it means to have been given the gift of life and what it means to share that life in love with our life mate. The joining of two unique individuals requires skill and grace. Grace that is unwilling to allow each other to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes without having it held against them.
Marriage is a covenant.
The Three Marriage Covenants
1. Righteousness
Marriage affords us the privilege and the responsibility of openness and honesty. The quality of your relationship springs from the intimacy of your conversation. Groom/Bride, do you understand that the covenant between you and Groom/Bride is to be based on righteousness? Do you agree to pursue the path of honesty no matter what the cost to you personally?
2. Faithfulness
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. This person is trusting you with their deepest feelings. Without faithfulness, there is nothing to build with, nowhere to build, and nothing to build upon. What we do here means life long devotion. Ruth 1:16 Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. This is how we define family. Groom/Bride, do you understand that the peace of your home arises from this covenant of faithfulness between you? Do you promise to forsake all others embracing Groom/Bride as your one and only?
3. Love
Love brings out the best in each of us.
Groom/Bride, do you understand that from now on you will experience all of life’s joy and sorrows together in the framework of holy matrimony, united with each other and with God? Do you promise to love Groom/Bride will all your heart, soul, mind, and body?
Vows
Will you, Groom/Bride take this woman/man, whom you hold by the hand to be your wedded wife/husband; promising to keep, cherish, and honor her/him and to be her /his faithful and true husband/wife so long as you both shall live?
Rings
May these rings be blessed as the symbol of oneness. These two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever you go, may you always return to each other so that your lives are like an unbroken circle. Thou art my beloved and I give this ring as a visible reminder to you and all who see it that my love for you is constant and eternal…With this ring, I thee wed.
Prayer
Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the Kingdom and the glory and the power forever. (Matthew 6:9)
The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24)
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may now kiss the bride.
I now present to you Mr. and Mrs…